Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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