Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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