Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
