Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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