I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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