I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
