Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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