Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
