Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
