your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
