i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
