I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why do cheetos always look like penises
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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