Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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