If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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