Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
