In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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