SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
