Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
