At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Text me some of your sweat
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