i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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