You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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