just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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