There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
