my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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