I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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