To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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