Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
