Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
