there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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