Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
