my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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