I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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