if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
