Don't you send me to vm
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
