Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize