This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
