i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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