Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
