And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
