I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
