Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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