Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
