I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
