Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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