Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
