Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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