Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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