I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize