hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize