I wish i was in the wii world.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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