I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
