from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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