Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize