I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
