i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
