I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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