how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
