um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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