Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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